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When you're down to atrophy

The etymology of the word “binge” dates back to the 19th century, meaning: “To soak a wooden vessel in water that would otherwise leak; to make the wood swell.” Well it’s safe to say that in nearly 200 years, the meaning of the word has not changed much except we humans are now the vessel and it’s our ability to lay horizontally on a couch watching TV that causes our bodies to swell. It’s only the most addicting, can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence kind of shows that cause our bodies to swell the most. These are the shows for when you’re ready to turn from couch potato into an over-baked couch potato.

Situationist Certified Recommendations:

Yellowjackets - Showtime (use your parents' log-in, it’s worth it)

Lord of the Flies, but everyone’s uterus is on the same cycle. Featuring Melanie Lynskey, Christina Ricci, and Juliette Lewis (It’s that good you’ll forget she once considered herself Scientologist).

Russian Doll - Netflix

Imagine attending the same NYC apartment party every night but instead of Irish-ing out the back door, you die.

**Renewed for Season 2 (Baruch Hashem), so catch up now.

Insecure - HBO Max

There are no words in English to describe how beautifully perfect this show is and how accurately and honestly it portrays the insecurities we feel navigating the transitional phases of adulthood (okay, I guess we found the words). To take one of the best pieces of advice from the series, said by Natasha Rothwell (aka Kelli) "don't look a gift horse in the d*ck." Watch this series immediately.

The Other Two - HBO Max

Imagine you, an unfamous no one, with a kid brother who has reached Bieber-level stardom overnight. It also features the “Superstar” herself, Molly Shannon. This show is so good, it physically hurts my brain; this show is so good, I stopped speaking to my friends until they each individually watched episode 1 and thanked me; this show is so good, I've convinced myself I'm friends with Heléne Yorke to the point where I slid into her DMs and asked if she could set me up with her brother in-law (she didn't reply).

White Lotus - HBO Max

From the second the theme music plays, you're immediately transported to an exotic resort filled with bad marital sex, legendary (and horny!) resort staff, and unrecoverable judgment stares from Gen Z's royalty, Sydney Sweeney and Brittany O'Grady...all whilst unfolding as a whodunnit variety of detective fiction.

Search Party - HBO Max

This is absurd acid-trip of a "comystery" (read: comedy/mystery) is the most accurate portrayal of our generation's obsession with ourselves. The CDC once put out a study on the number of "deaths by selfie," and Search Party embodies why that number is skyrocketing...also (unrelated but related) John Early's facial expressions alone could help us achieve world peace.

Big Little Lies - HBO Max

Extremely white women problems.

Succession - HBO Max

Similar to White Lotus, the theme music is transporting. Except instead of taking you to an exotic resort, you're thrown into the wolves of Wall Street (but make it a media conglomerate). The story is a fictional amalgamation of NYC's scummiest family empires, and to quote the youngest prodigal son, "we do roller coasters and hate speech." If that's not EGOT-worthy dialogue, we're not sure what is.

Dexter - Hulu

Mitch Hedberg famously joked that the origin story of Pringles is that potatoes once arrived at a tennis ball factory and their reaction was "f*ck it! cut 'em up!" The same reaction could be said of Dexter Morgan, a vigilante serial killer who disposes of his victims in a very similar way.

Breaking Bad

If you can stomach season 1 episode 2 featuring an epic blood bath (literally), then this show is probably the most bingeable series you'll ever consume.

Homeland - Hulu (the early seasons)

Angela Chase dies her hair bright blonde and saves the world (but maintains her teenage angst and tears).


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